I've come to the realization that i'm not the nicest person. I have name called, belittled, tormented, and bullied someone I really care about...
Myself...
I couldn't really tell you when I started to do this to myself but it
was long before I became a mom. I think I always had this inferiority complex with myself. I was never good enough for myself since I was a per-teen.
It didn't matter how many people tried to make me feel better , tell me how great I did, or if I looked beautiful I never truly believed it. Little did I know that those things that bothered me before motherhood were going to be the least of my worries as my body dramatically changed after babies.
Ill be honest, I've never really be one of those mama's who embrace "The
Mom Pooch" or stretch marks. I was seriously bothered by my body after having my babies but really loved when I saw other women and mamas who loved and owned their bodies! It was so empowering and beautiful, but I had and still at times have the hardest time embracing my mom bod.
When I became apart of Project Love Yourself by Taylor Eidem I right away fell in love with the message of self-love, fully accepting who you are and your self worth, for all women and men!
I knew this Project was something I really wanted to be apart of cause we can all use a little bit more TLC towards ourselves.
In becoming apart of the project you had a choice to be photographed in 2 outfits. One that you find yourself most comfortable in, and another of your choice in black.
I was really shy about being in front of the camera but Taylor made me feel so comfortable and made it so easy to feel natural in front of a camera.
As it came to the time to do the black outfit shoot I was seriously not "feeling myself" I asked Taylor and a few of my closest friends what they thought of the outfit I bought and of course they felt that I rocked it but I couldn't get out of my head.
Staring at myself in the mirror I was ready to reschedule. I was going to wait to lose more weight, buy another outfit, and schedule for a day that I felt better but deep inside I knew I wasn't going to feel better about my body. No matter how much more weight I lost, how good or bad my complexion was that day, or if I was standing there in a potato sack my thoughts about myself werent going to change. I messaged Taylor telling her I was talking myself out of the outfit,that my mom bulge was bothering me. I had the intention of cancelling after that but little did I know that I was talking to a soul magician and she replied to me...
" That "bulge" you're so conscious about gave you 2 beautiful babies!! Your body literally grew a baby! That's a superpower in itself!"
I've heard so many times before that I shouldn't be so hard on myself after having kids but something really struck with me when Taylor encouraged me!
She right! I shouldn't be mad at my body! I should be proud of what it gave me! The two little humans I love more then anything! And your right! I am a freaking super hero!
With the confidence of a queen I got in my car and headed to the location for the photos and as I was getting closer I slowly started to hear that little voice in my head saying I cant do this! I'm way to big! There's nothing cute about that mama pooch! You ate like crap yesterday! Why would you still wear this outfit!
But now there was another voice in my head yelling, "Nobody asked you Patrice!" ( If you don't know what this is from, please watch How I Met Your Mother.... thank me later) and it was too late I was there.
As I arrived I was so nervous about taking these photos, but Taylor to the rescue! She made me feel like a hot tamale! She encouraged me, laughed with me, inspired me, made me feel beautiful and helped me recognize how much I really should love my body!
Its because of Taylor's spirit, love, passion and pure truth through this project that Project Love Yourself is amazing! There's is nothing but love and kindness to everyone who has been apart of this with me!
Taylor although my superpower was a mama pooch that creates babies you have the amazing superpower and gift of making people see themselves as beautiful as you and others do! Thank you for this amazing project and friendship! I cannot wait to see this project flourish and how many others souls you will touch!
I may never 100% of the time love my body, I still have my moments where i'm really not that nice to myself but the more that I practice self love, appreciate my body, and remind myself of what a bad ass superhero I am the more "Patrice" isn't there.
Go Follow and Share Project Love Yourself and get see how you can become apart of it too!
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